Weddings are a beautiful blend of traditions, cultures, and customs, especially in Singapore, where rich Chinese wedding customs add a unique flair to the celebrations.
One of the most significant rituals is the Betrothal Gift Ceremony or Guo Da Li (过大礼). This essential pre-wedding custom is held around two to four weeks before the matrimony.
Guo Da Li is celebrated by both Teochew and Hokkien families, as well as by other Chinese dialect groups. This pre-wedding ceremony symbolises the union of two families, not just the couple.
Let’s explore the fascinating details of this ceremony and how it differs between Teochew and Hokkien traditions.
What is the Betrothal Gift Ceremony?
The Betrothal Gift Ceremony marks the formal engagement between the bride and groom. It’s a way for the groom’s family to show respect and commitment by presenting gifts to the bride’s family.
These gifts represent blessings for the couple’s future together, symbolising wealth, fertility, and harmony.
Although both Teochew and Hokkien families share the essence of this ceremony, the gifts exchanged and rituals involved can differ slightly.
The Importance of the Ceremony
This ceremony goes beyond a formality. It signifies the groom’s seriousness and the readiness of his family to welcome the bride.
Each gift given during the ceremony holds deep meaning, representing prosperity, fertility, and harmony between the families.
The Ceremony Process
The Betrothal Gift Ceremony is typically held at the bride’s home. Here’s how it generally unfolds:
Setting the Date
The date is usually chosen based on auspicious timings. The families consult a fortune teller to select a suitable date.
Preparation of Gifts
The groom’s family prepares the gifts with care. Presentation matters! They are often beautifully arranged and presented in traditional baskets.
Ceremony Day
On the day of the ceremony, the groom’s family arrives with the gifts. They are warmly welcomed by the bride’s family.
Exchange of Gifts
The groom’s family presents the gifts, often accompanied by a few speeches. The bride’s family usually expresses their gratitude and welcomes the groom into their family.
Distinct Betrothal Gift Practices in Teochew and Hokkien Traditions
While both dialect groups share similarities in their customs, some key differences make each unique:
Teochew Wedding Customs (Betrothal Gifts)
Teochew weddings are known for their detailed rituals, passed down for generations. The betrothal ceremony is especially significant, representing the formal agreement between the families.
Teochew families present a carefully curated selection of items, including:
- Straw baskets to carry the gifts.
- Four-piece gold jewellery or also called the Four Touches of Gold and Si Dian Jin (四点金). They symbolise the groom’s promise to provide for the bride. The jewellery pieces include a ring, a pair of earrings, a necklace, and a bangle. These are presented during the Betrothal Gift Ceremony but are given during the Tea Ceremony.
- Banana or Lian Zhao Gui Zi (连招贵子). It sounds like “bring” and symbolises bringing in children.
- Wife cakes or Lao Po Bing (老婆饼). It represents a sweet life ahead.
- Tau Sar Piah. A flaky pastry symbolising good luck and happiness.
- Peanut candy or Hua Sheng Tang. They’re a tasty treat that symbolises the wish for the couple to have children soon.
- Sesame sweets or Zhi Ma Tang. They represent harmony and sweetness in marriage, and they also carry the hope for the couple to have many children.
- Lao Ma Gor or Lao Ma Gao (老嫲糕). It’s a traditional wedding pastry and is commonly included unless the bride’s grandmother is not around.
Hokkien Wedding Customs (Betrothal Gifts)
While similar in essence, Hokkien weddings have their own unique touches, emphasising fertility, respect, and family ties.
Hokkien families also present symbolic gifts, but with some differences. They include:
- Black and red baskets to carry the gifts.
- Pandan cake. It represents sweetness and happiness, fertility, and unity.
- Ang Ku Kueh. It’s a red, tortoise-shaped pastry symbolising longevity and good fortune.
Rice Candy or Da Mi Tang (大米糖). These sweets represent prosperity and abundance.
Common Betrothal Gifts in Teochew and Hokkien Traditions
Here are the common gifts in both Teochew and Hokkien dialect groups:
- Betrothal money (dowry) or Pin Jin (聘金). This is a symbol of sincerity and commitment. The amount usually includes the number 8, ranging from 6,888 to 8,888.
- Two pairs of Double Happiness candles, featuring two dragons and two phoenixes, made from full wax. They symbolise prosperity and harmony in marriage.
- A pair of coconut or You Ye You Zi (有爷有子). It sounds like “grandfather and child” and represents the hope for a multi-generational family.
- Six pig trotters. They’re available in cans and are given as a gift for the mother-in-law, symbolising filial piety and respect.
- Hard liquor or red/white wine. They’re presented as a gift for the father-in-law, symbolising respect and wishing for a prosperous future.
- Traditional wedding cakes. They’re given to the bride’s family to distribute to their relatives. This symbolises the sharing of joy and blessings from the union.
- Eight to twelve oranges. They’re given as a gift to symbolise good luck and prosperity for the couple’s future.
- Twelve to sixteen apples. They’re presented as a gift to symbolise peace and harmony in the marriage.
- Charcoal is given as a gift to symbolise that the bride will have a prosperous and good life after marriage.
- Black moss or Fa Cai (发菜) is gifted to symbolise wealth and good fortune, with the hope that the couple will strike rich.
- A gift box or Li Jin He (礼金盒) for An Chuang (安床), containing:
- Jewellery for the bride.
- Dried longan or Long Yan Gan (龙眼干), which symbolises blessings for a dragon boy or Zao Sheng Gui Zi (早生贵子).
- Red date or Hong Yun Dang Tou (鸿运当头). These sweet dates are all about good fortune, bringing a sprinkle of luck to the couple’s journey ahead.
- Lily bulbs also called Bai Nian Hao He (百年好合). These bulbs are a lovely symbol of a harmonious union, wishing the couple many happy years together.
- Walnut (He Tao) or peanut (Hua Sheng). These nuts represent harmony (He He Qi Qi, 和和气气), reminding the couple to always keep the peace and joy in their marriage.
- Lotus seeds. They’re a sweet wish for the couple to have many children (Lian Lian Sheng Zi, 连连生子), adding to their happiness and family.
- Dried tangerine (Gan Ju Zi, 干橘子). It’s a symbol of great luck (Da Ji Da Li, 大吉大利), making sure that fortune follows the couple wherever they go.
- Pine tree leaf (Chang Shou, 长寿). This symbolises longevity, health, and vitality for the couple, especially if the bride’s family still has grandparents around.
- Dried melon (cantaloupe) slice. These slices represent a sweet life together (Tian Tian Mi Mi, 甜甜蜜蜜), wishing the couple a life full of love and happiness.
- Different grains also called the Five Element Seeds (Wu Gu Feng Shou, 五谷丰收) include red beans, green beans, wheat, soybeans, barley, or rice. A mix of grains is a blessing for bountiful harvests, wishing the couple prosperity and abundance in their life together.
- Double Happiness stickers. They’re often used to decorate the home, symbolising marital bliss and happiness in the couple’s union.
- A Red banner. It’s hung over the door to welcome guests and symbolises good fortune and joy for the newlyweds.
Two cans of tea Leaves and two packets of white sesame seeds. They represent the hope that the seeds will grow into trees, symbolising the couple’s flourishing life together.
Key Elements of the Betrothal Gift Ceremony
Dowry Presentation (Jia Zhuang, 嫁妆)
Aside from receiving gifts from the groom’s family, the bride’s family presents a dowry as part of the ceremony.
The dowry symbolises the bride’s wealth and contribution to the marriage. Common dowry items include bedding, a sewing kit (representing industriousness), and a tea set, which signifies harmonious family relationships.
These items are often displayed at the bride’s house before being sent to the groom’s family.
Double Happiness Symbol (Xi Xi, 囍)
One can’t talk about Chinese weddings without mentioning the Double Happiness symbol.
This symbol is central to both Teochew and Hokkien wedding customs, representing joy and blessings for the couple’s future.
It appears on red packets, cakes, candles, and even home decorations during the wedding festivities.
Auspicious Numbers
The betrothal gifts are always presented in even numbers, as they signify good fortune. For instance, the number 8, which sounds like “prosperity” in Chinese, is considered lucky.
The number 6, which sounds like “smooth progress”, is also favoured. Both numbers are commonly used in the number of gifts presented by the groom.
Returning of Gifts (Hui Li, 回礼)
fter the bride’s family receives the betrothal gifts, it’s customary to return a portion of them to the groom’s family as a gesture of gratitude.
This practice shows that the bride’s family not only accepts the union but also shares the blessings. Items returned could include portions of the food gifts or red packets.
We’ll get into the details in the next section.
Return Gifts from the Bride’s Family
In the spirit of gratitude and goodwill, the bride’s family traditionally presents gifts to the groom and his family during the betrothal.
These gifts symbolise appreciation and the strengthening of family ties. Below are the customary gifts returned from the bride’s family, including specific items for both Hokkien and Teochew families.
- Sugar Cane (Tong Gan Gong Ku, 同甘共苦). This gift symbolises the couple’s commitment to going through thick and thin together. (Applicable to Hokkien families only)
- Gold ring, watch, cufflinks, belt, or wallet with an Ang Bao inserted (for the groom). This thoughtful gesture signifies the bride’s family’s acceptance and well-wishes for the groom.
- Two bottles of orange juice or syrup. This sweet offering represents good luck and prosperity for the couple.
- Portion of the gift received from the Groom. Traditionally, half of the initial betrothal gifts are returned to signify mutual respect and balance in the relationship.
- Huat Kueh (Fa Gao, 发糕). This traditional cake symbolises prosperity and good fortune for the couple’s future.
Dowry from the Bride’s Family (Groom to Bring the Items Back to the Bridal Chamber)
- Furniture. These are essential items like a bed, mattress, or dressing table to set up the new household.
- Sewing machine or sewing kit. They represent the bride’s skills in nurturing the family.
- Ruler (De Cun Jin Chi, 得寸进尺). It symbolises hope for many children and grandchildren.
- Essentials (Zi Sun San Bao, 子孙三宝). These items symbolise fertility and family continuity, including:
- Bath Basin
- Wash Basin
- Towel
- Toothpaste
- Toothbrush
- Spittoon
- Mug
- Linen. These include pillow covers and bed sheets, ensuring comfort in the new home.
- Tea set. They’re used for the tea ceremony at the groom’s side, symbolising unity and respect.
- Bowl set. They represent sharing and togetherness.
- Two pairs of chopsticks (Zao Sheng Gui Zi, 早生贵子). They symbolise the desire for the couple to have children soon.
- A pair of bedside lamps (Tian Ding Fa Cai, 添丁发财). These symbolise fertility and the hope for wealth in the new life together.
- One red umbrella. It’s left at the bride’s home for use on the wedding day, representing protection and good fortune.
- Fate coins (Da Yuan Xiao Yuan, 大缘小缘). These coins are placed at the four corners of the matrimonial bed, in cupboards, and drawers, symbolising blessings for a harmonious marriage.
- Jewellery. This is an optional but thoughtful addition that signifies love and commitment.
Guo Da Li Cakes and Pastries from The Pine Garden
The preparation for Guo Da Li can be overwhelming, with many elements to consider and plan. You’ll want to ensure that nothing is left out.
At The Pine Garden, we aim to make your Betrothal Gift Ceremony less stressful and more memorable with our traditional Chinese betrothal cakes.
Check one item off your checklist and let us handle all your Guo Da Li cake needs, so you can focus on the people that matter most.
Curious about our traditional Guo Da Li cakes? Drop us a message or visit our website to explore more about these meaningful wedding treats!
The Unique Teochew and Hokkien Wedding Customs
The Betrothal Gift Ceremony, or Guo Da Li, is a beautiful and significant tradition in both Teochew and Hokkien wedding customs. It symbolises the union of two families, respect for tradition, and blessings for the couple’s future.
While the gifts and rituals may differ slightly, the essence remains the same: love, harmony, and family unity. Whether you come from a Teochew or Hokkien background, understanding these unique customs deepens your appreciation for the rich cultural heritage that weddings represent.
So, as you prepare for your big day or learn about these traditions, embrace the beauty of customs that honour love, family, and a blessed future.